Posted on Saturday, July 30, 2011
in Family, munchies, Rantings
It happens occasionally that Puppychild gets to have a friend for dinner at our house (with some fava beans and a nice chianti) and from experience I’ve learned that the simplest foods go down the best where five year olds are concerned.
So, I served wholemeal spaghetti with tuna and sweetcorn flavoured with a wee blob of butter and a squitch of olive oil, a pinch of salt, pepper, a squeeze of lemon and a dash of fresh cream. Then I made a mistake. I added a sprig of well chopped parsley.
Puppychild’s friend pulled a grimace when I placed her little pink bowl of food in front of her. She poked a finger into the depths of her spaghetti and withdrew a teeny speck of green… she looked as though she were about to vomit.
“Wha is dis?” she waved her green speck at me.
“It’s parsley” I explained, “It tastes lovely and it’s very good for you, there’s only a tiny bit in there though.”
“I don’ like ih.” she folded her arms in a huff and shoved the bowl away with her elbow.
“But how do you know you don’t like it, if you’ve never tried it?” I implored.
“I just don’ like ih.” She began to tweeze bits of sweetcorn from the food, but only the sweetcorn that had in no way come within any distance or association whatsoever with the horrible, terrible parsley.
“So what’s your favourite food at home?” I asked.
“Kebabs” she replied.
“Your mummy makes kebabs?”
“No from de chipparse” she replied.
“You like kebabs from the chip shop?
“Yeh s’yummy.” She assumed a hangdog pose, lower lip thrust forward… it was that look that small children make when they’re trying to convey to you that they’re so cruelly starved they’d happily eat a leper’s arse through a hedge (as long as it didn’t have parsley on it).
“But kebabs are full of all sorts of artificial crap, spurious stuff out of cans opened by men with hairy fingers and sweaty arse cracks, you big pink freak!!”
That’s what I didn’t say to her. I just made her a ham sandwich instead which she ate happily and when the children had finished eating, they rushed gaily outside to eat grass soaked in dog pee and to dig up worms and slugs.
Children are so weird.
(img found spuriously via Public School)