Man, my PC’s messed up.
It took me four hours to log on to the internet today. ‘This program is not responding - end program?’… am I going to wait around until you pull your finger out? Hell no.
They should have a popup box for when the PC’s all buffered out and needs some time to think. Something like ‘Don’t end it! Give me a chance, I can do it!!!’
I’ve pulled the plug so many times now my computer is just running on faith alone.
My ‘puter is now officially discombobulated me thinks. Either that or I am.
If it snowed tomorrow I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised.
A young man was arrested in Dublin City last night for the attempted smuggling of snuff with a street value of approximately €2.99.
Jefferson Davis of no fixed abode allegedly alerted his accomplice (known as ‘K8 the Gr8′) to his situation on live television, using morse code during the Angelus from his holding cell. A guard commented; “Jaysus but that Jack Bauer lad hasn’t a patch on Davis!”
The communication led to a botched rescue attempt resulting in severe weather changes and an accidental chemical leak into the Dublin City water supply system, however the pair escaped and fortunately later saved the world from the resulting epidemic of mutant pidgeons. Witnesses gave an account of an elaborate scheme involving The Spire on O’Connell Street, a tankload of peanut butter, a beer mat and 10,000 supermarket trolleys.
The Gardaí gave the heroes a glowing report.
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. (The husband’s lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.)
A car dealer in Missouri, US, boasts that his auto sales have quadrupled since he began giving away a free hand gun with every sale. He claims his inspiration comes from Senator Barack Obama.
And…
I’m going to a Christmas party on Monday night.
FOUND:
ONE LOST BEAR
CORNER OF MAIN STREET AND QUINSBOROUGH ROAD, BRAY CO.WICKLOW, OUTSIDE HILTON’S PHARMACY
WILL BE RETURNED WITH FREE TODDLER
(Photoshop tricks learned HERE)
Grandad maimed me elaborately.
I’ve to describe meself in 6 words, which would be -
Moody; Loyal; Misinterpreted; Lazy; Ditzy; Strange
You know what? I’m going to save you all the ball-ache of doing this or explaining to me that you’ve already done it, thank you very much, and I’m going to go off and trawl the internet for random blogs as a random curiosity project for myself instead.
Here’s who I found:
My Strange Blog… Rick Gottlieb’s Blog… RealFake… Stalking with the stars… Truckdriver Blog
(You don’t know me, but I just maimed you. My dad made me do it.)
Rest easy ladies and gentlemen, for it has arrived:
We all knew it would be created, that it was a matter of inevitability, and now here it is.
Bloggers United
Sign up and take part in what will soon be the biggest blogging forum in the world!
*cue fireworks*
Remember, you heard it from me first.
Thanks Roy 
I picked up a few Galweigans from Johnny Fox’s today, let them out for a quick ice-cream at the Spar in Enniskerry, then brought them up to the Ritz-Carlton where they were staying. I asked them what it was like, being that these seemed a particularily un-snobberly bunch of people.
Betsy- Ah, it’s graaand… you know, don’t go in if you have dirty shoes though!
Me- So how long are you staying in this neck of the woods?
Betsy- Just the one night, home tomorrow.
Betsy’s son (leans forward from back)- We saved for two years for this holiday!
I throw my head back and laugh heartily until I realise that they aren’t laughing with me. I picture a sad-looking penny jar much like my own.
Me- I hope they wipe your bum for you?
Betsy (with complete agreement from son)- They don’t have toilets in there!
Me- Huh?
Betsy- Sure nobody in there has an anus! *collapses in laughter*
Betsy’s son- *sighs contentedly* Ahhh… the guinness in Johhny Fox’s goes a long long way…
Here is something I Stumbled upon that pleased the tiny hairs on the back of my neck. I hope it pleases yours too.
This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labour to others, hate tyrants… have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.
-Walt Whitman
heh heh…
Two for flinching! *pow* *pow*
This photo is courtesy of TAT’s brother, whos friend just returned from his holidays to find this ugly bitch. Yes he lives in Australia.