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Mar 12

Suckered

Posted on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 in Awards!, Jobs, memememememe

Things might be quiet around here for a while.

I’m a community volunteer, see, and there really aren’t enough of us around, surprisingly enough.  So, It’s been put upon me to create posters, mail-shots, invitations and press releases to advertise an upcoming beach-clean.  Seriously, how on earth does one rally enthusiasm for picking up old nappies and hypodermic needles?

You know what else?  A local tattoo artist has noticed my blog and has got it into his head that I might design a website for him in return for certain… umm… ‘favours’.  There are certain members of my family that are particularily skilled in the technological department, but unfortunately, I’m not one of them.  I tried to learn HTML, I really did, but my efforts always end up swamped by apathy.  This means my web-site building is on a par with your average 10-year old’s.  Seriously though – have you ever tried to decypher a page of html script?  It’s like trying to read Chinese writing, unless you happen to be Chinese, of course. 

Still, I’ll give it a go, then post up a link so you can all have a good laugh.

I know I have a few memes to catch up on… Terence McDanger in his evil ways has suckered me with that damn ‘Seven things about you’ meme again.  I feel that if I don’t continue the chain I won’t go to heaven, so it’ll find it’s way from the dark corners of my brain and onto this here blog soon enough.

The other meme is from Jefferson Davis and his lovely cotton (poo-soaked) socks.  It’s not really a meme, but instead an award which tickles my insides like Guinness drunk out of a bottle with a straw:

art-award.jpg

 But why?:

Art Prize and Award
“This prize has arisen from the daily visits that I dedicate to many blogs which nourish me and enrich me with creativity. In them I see dedication, creativity, care, comradeship, but mainly, ART, much art. I want to share this prize with all those bloggers that entertain me day to day and to share this prize with those who enrich me every day. Doubtlessly, there are many and it will be hard to pick just a few, the people I will name today deserve this prize, as do the very long serious list of bloggers I also enjoy to read, but I will name the first 10 and will leave the rest of the work to all the bloggers that visit other’s blogs and are nourished by them.”

Awww!  Thanks Jeffo!

I spread this appreciation to: The humblest of housewives, the craftiest of knitters, a cabbie most solid, a photographer most universal, and the most talented of scribblers.  People, your arts inspire me and scratch my proverbial itch.

Seeing as I have the opportunity and we’re sort of on the subject, I would also like to publish a rare MySpace link.  Clare Hartigan’s art is truly awe-inspiring, and well worth a visit.

I’ll be back soon, if my brain doesn’t overheat first.

Mar 4

Not so badly memed

Posted on Tuesday, March 4, 2008 in Awards!, memememememe, munchies, On the box

First of all, I’d like to thank Sue Doe Nim from the heart of my bottom for recognising that it is tough work growing up a relatively normal person given the fact that my parents are both complete nutters.

I’d also like to thank her for this:

day_award.jpg

It gives me warm fuzzies to think my printed brain farts are making a difference to her day!

I’m going to pass it on to ten of you fellow brain-farters, just because your blogs cheer me up and get my cogs grinding.  Youz all rock so you doez.

Baino, because I’m raging you live so far away and the Blog Awards gave me a hankering to share a drink with you.
Hailey, for being real in all senses of the word!
English Mum, because I love your blog and your Bert.
Jenny, because your posts are always interesting and I like the way you think.
Manuel, because I like the cut of your jib.
Hairyfish, you are the King of funny quickies!
Dad, because you could do with some iron, and you’re my bloggy idol as well as my reality idol!
Medbh, for keeping it real and because you’re so pretty.
Moo-Dog, because I can’t believe I haven’t discovered your genius earlier!
and
Brian, because you were there from day one :)

I’ve noticed, though, that the award itself is very pretty.  While us ladies love this sort of thing, I’m worried that the blokes will think it a little too… umm… ‘quaint’.  So for you gents who would prefer something slightly more butch, I give you this:

guinness_pint.jpg

This next meme is from Brian who I would also like to thank because his meme is easy-peasy and da’cent craic.

Four jobs I’ve held:
-Pharmacy Technician (Unqualified! I lied my ass off to get that job)
-Dunnes Stores Checkout girl
-Pint puller in a hotel near Bray
-P.A. to the M.D. of a glazing company (This sounds impressive, but there were just two of us working for the company.  Christmas parties were really quiet.)

Four movies I’ve watched over and over again:
-The Snapper
-The Power of One
-Stand by Me
-The Labyrinth

Four places I’ve been:
-Stonehenge
-Skinnydipping in the sea on a Donegal beach at night-time surrounded by thousands of tiny glowing swimming ameoba
-In a cave in France with a candle and my dad, surrounded by bats, cavepaintings, and huge white spiders
-Trabolgan (exotic, ooooo!)

Four places I’ve lived:
-Dun Laoghaire
-Kilpeddar
-Wicklow Town
-Terenure
(Not too well-travelled, me)

Four tv shows I watch:
-The Shield
-The Wire
-Weeds
-Sopranos

Four radio shows I listen to:
-Ray D’Arcy (Today FM)
-Jenny Huston’s The Waiting Room
-Rick O’Shea (2FM) and I’m not ‘just saying’ that because he’s a bloggerer!
-Matt Cooper’s The Last Word

Four things I look forward to:
-Moving house
-The smell of the first lawn-cut of the summer
-Having money to spare again
-Brushing out the dog’s winter coat

Four favourite foods:
-Prawn Curries
-Black Olives
-Spreadable Chocolate Sauce
-Chili Con Carne

Four places I’d rather be:
-Living in my new house
-Thailand
-In the pilot seat of an F14 fighter jet
-Camping in the Grand Canyon

Four people I email regularly:
-Me aul ‘fla
-My buddy Lou
-The Chairman of the local resource group I belong to
-Mathilde, an ex-French student of ours

The rules say that I have to pass this meme on to four people, then comment on their blogs to let them know.  I am however, in Sue-Doe-Nim style, going to break the last part of this rule because I’m on a dial-up connection which has to be disconnected now for the good of my bank balance.  Don’t worry though, I’ll be reminding you in due course…

I pass this meme forward to Me Mammy, Eire Rules, Jenny in her Living Room, and Curly K!  Have fun, ladies!

Feb 4

Guest spot- Wouldye's meme

Posted on Monday, February 4, 2008 in Family, Humourarse, Little known facts, memememememe, Strange and Unusual

I is happy dog with special guest spot on my best friend’s blog I is Wouldye and this is me

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Gives us high-fives!

She says she has meme from squirrel on Jefferson Davis’ blog and she give it to me-  I has never seen squirrel before so I has wags to meet one!

I says its difficult to type on keyboard with big paws so I got given Bonio to type with and my best friend sits beside me to tell me how to spell because I has gots no education- she is well clever that way- she also tell me to use fullstops but they are too slow- I use dash- Dash is good fun especially when tennisball is involved

I will tell you now about six quirks that I have-

1- I has wicked sense of humour!  I reads poem once what my mistress wrote about me and I tells her it is doggerel- She not get this joke but youz will because you is cleverer than what she is

2- I is loves cats and I doesn’t understand why dogs has such bad name for chasing cats- I thinks this is racial-  They have ass what smell just as nice as ours and have good skills for climbing so I is jealous- they’s don’t have much sense of humour though

3- My favourite things is sticks and rocks and tennisballs and golfballs- throwing these things makes my best friend very happy so I is glad to oblige- i even fetch from sea which is dangerous but well worth it for the GOOD BOY I gets shouted to.

4- I has had my balls cut off when I was puppy which is ruff but I don’ts remember what they were for so I is sure is for the best- it still all taste the same down there anyways-  My master says balls are for puppies but my mistress has two puppies already so that is plenty to guard for me

5- I don’t like bridges I think sticks are there to be fetched and not to walk on because it is well scary- I don’t see why youz two-legs don’t just swim across rivers cos this is way more fun and saves baths I don’t like baths either

6- I is notice that people don’t understand my name like the nasty ladies in the vets place- I is called Wouldye because I has clever master- He say ‘Wouldye fuck off’ so off I fucks with no needs for namby pamby middle names- like dog next door is called Fluffy because it is fluffy but any fools can sees that- Is funny too when mistress shouts ‘Wouldye get the ball!’ and strangers run to get my ball because they thinks she is angry with them and I laughs because they is so thick because I know she is talking to me

Best friend tells me I has to links to other animals for to see what their quirks is so I is choose:

Sandy (She is very shy so youz has to be nice to her)
Kat (See I told youz i is not racial)
Derby (Youz clicks the ads on his masters blog and it buyz him more Bonios- see?)

Jan 20

ANDRE IMAGE STONES – Eye and denying it

Posted on Sunday, January 20, 2008 in Arty Farty, memememememe, Music

I fought African lions to find the perfect choir.  I practised the bongos for hours on end in the back of The Accidental Terrorist’s van.  I studied Coltrane until his notes bled out of my ears and paid Santana for guitar lessons with endless twisted sexual favours, but in the end, it was totally worth it. 

Here’s my CD.  Dave Fanning just phoned and told me he wanted me to have his babies, which was a nice compliment.   I hope they don’t overplay it too much on the radio.  I hate that.

hanging.jpg

buynow.jpg

*just kidding*

This is an Andre Image Stone.

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 “I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.” Garrison Keillor (1942 – )

Thanks for the meme, daddyo!  I pass it to….  Haley! (The goddess of coffee and nose piercings) 

Here are your links, dollface!

This random article title is the name of your band

The last four words of the very last quote is the name of your album

The third picture on this page is your cover

Have fun :)

Jan 12

5 Post Meme

Posted on Saturday, January 12, 2008 in Family, Little known facts, memememememe

I’m still waiting for those yella feckers to get back to me so that I can follow through with Brian’s meme!

In the meantime, Grannymar’s throwing them around like there’s no tomorrow!  Hers, however, is one of those lovely memes that involves no imagination, just a few keywords in the search-bar.  Yes!  It’s dredge up your old posts time!

Ze rulez:

Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given here (family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like).
Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better.

*sweet*

FAMILY; This is a post I wrote about me aul’ pair going on holidays leaving me in charge of their gaff, and all the fun I almost had.

FRIEND; A tasteless joke my buddy Lou told me, and an amusing study on the effects drugs have on web-building, which has nothing to do with the subject matter but I’m terrible for writing about friends because I don’t have any.

MYSELF; A very long and deep confession about a strange personality flaw I have.

MY LOVE; This is a post that proves my inadequacy at expressing feelings, I just can’t do soppy.  I prefer metaphors.

ANYTHING I LIKE; Some inspiration I found in my little book of complete bollocks.

This license to regurgitate is hereby passed to Going Like Sixty, ShiteDrivers.com, Well done Fillet (an excellent site recommended by Humblehousewife!), errr humblehousewife, and my dear dad, Read Hambles!

 

Dec 16

A pain in my whole.

Posted on Sunday, December 16, 2007 in Humourarse, Little known facts, memememememe

I’ve been triple tagged! Ouch.

Virtual armpit wedgies for Jack Mc Mad, Kirk, and Jefferson Davis.

That’s what I get for being both lazy and chronically busy at the same time. I’ve hung around so long there’s nobody left to tag! It’s gotten so bad, that even Grannymar’s been snared, and everybody knows this is an absolute last resort.

So here it is, my tag of deepest secrets, smeared and stained and left to air for the amusement of the general public. It pains me to reveal this stuff, the stuff that only a therapist should know about. I refuse point blank right now to carry through with the tag Dad just got, should it somehow land in my linklinks. Right?

Ok. *sigh* Here we go.

Here are the rules of the Meme:
Post on your blog . . .
+ Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
+ Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
+ Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
+ Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

(nervous shuffle)

1. I have fantasies about the various ways I could kill my next door neighbour’s cat, along with the possible ways I could wear it afterwards. I am not mean. It is an evil cat with beautiful fur.

2. I seem to have developed a crush on Maggie Gyllenhaal for some reason. I hope my mother wasn’t right after all…

3. Anal Suppositories wierd me out. I just can’t put my finger on it.

4. I think I have a personality disorder. Either that or I’m turning into my parents. When the disorder is discovered and studied, I hope they put my name on it.

5. I had a serious phobia about knocking my two front teeth out (this is my dad’s fault) for years. Sometimes I even used to walk up and down stairs with my hand over my mouth just in case I fell. Then, when I got very pissed one night and fell down a hill, the first part of me that collided with the pavement was my left incisor. I broke the tooth clean in half, but didn’t feel a thing. Yes, I did whistle on the fricatives. It was very embarrassing. But, at least the phobia’s gone now.

6. There were bars placed on all the windows of Merville student residence in UCD as a result of a really idiotic studenty stunt I pulled. All it takes is one truly heroic person to sacrifice themselves for the cause of highlighting public liability. That person is me.

7. I am addicted to the sound of electric fans. I’ve had this since I was very young. It’s very a strange, expensive and annoying habit, but I just find the sound extremely soothing. Recording the sound of a running fan heater and playing it back to myself is not the same thing. It is somewhat related to the gratuitous fact that I’m always bloody cold, maybe.

And now, to pass on the pain….
*7 hours later*

Betty the Sheep
Foreigner by Default
Resident Alien
Stranded on Gaia
Coffee Helps! (Especially with this.)
Helga Von Porno
Rick O’Shea is a presenter on 2fm who has, I just discovered, his own blog. I’m tagging him for the craic because I like him and I like doing mean things to people I like.

I deeply apologise to you all, especially if I have re-tagged you. I have just used this as a cheap tool to link to all of your very linkworthy sites. Pass it on if you like, I don’t care. It’s gone from my shoulders!!! Forever!!!!

On a different note, here is a genuine photograph of the fattest giraffe in the world.

fat_giraffe.jpg

I stole it from this page.
For more random animal strangeness, go see this page.

Nov 10

The tag challenge

I’m finding myself with spare time suddenly but with nothing much to say.  Then I decided that it is very rare for a blogger to post a post and use all of their tags at once (Bloggers such as Brian F and Stupid Irish Daddy are disqualified for lack of imagination of course).  This is my challenge,  and I’m giving myself an award for it.  You can have one too if you can do it.

What is both strange and unusual is that marijuana is illegal.  This subject is taboo, but it’s just something to think about.  Once one partakes in the activity of having a spliff, one is immediately part of the chain.  One is working hand in hand with the drug-lord and his artillery, and my philosophy is that this is unfair burden on us stoners.  It’s a little known fact that weed is quite benign, that it’s worst effects are the munchies and diminished brain capacity, but we accept this, and we take responsibility for it quietly and with a few giggles thrown in. 

Working the daily job is not easy.  Neither is dealing with the family and it’s shortcomings.  My weakness is that I would like to sit back and be able to put up with the tripe on the box and find it humourarse.  Sometimes it’s nice to listen to music or glance at the uncategorised pleasures of this life and be inspired to write new poems and things.  Contrary to public rantings, weed does not generally make us want to take up smack or turn bi-polar.

That’s all I’m saying because this is supposed to be a quickie.

tag-award.gif

Here’s my award.

Do you want it?  I’d offer it up for general grabs but seeing as memememe is one of my tags, I have to name names.

Me aul’ f’la

Irish Flirty Something

Scribbles by Hanulf

(You know you want it)

Nov 2

The Pharyngula Mutating Genre

Posted on Friday, November 2, 2007 in memememememe, Something to think about

Roishe.  Let’s get this one over with, shall we?  It took two full containers of Omega Fish Oil before I could get my noggin around this.

This evil evil meme is a twisted form of Chinese Whispers and goes like this:

There are a set of statements below that are all of the form:”The best [subgenre] [medium] in [genre] is…”. Copy the statements, you may modify them in a limited way, carrying out no more than two of these operations:

You can leave them exactly as is.
You can delete any one
You can mutate either the genre, medium, or subgenre of any one question.

For instance, you could change “The best time travel novel in SF/Fantasy is…” to “The best time travel novel in Westerns is…”, or “The best time travel movie in SF/Fantasy is…”, or “The best romance novel in SF/Fantasy is…”.

You can add a completely new question of your choice to the end of the list, as long as it is still in the form “The best [subgenre] [medium] in [genre] is…”. You must have at least one question in your set, or you’ve gone extinct, and you must be able to answer it yourself, or you’re not viable.Then answer your possibly mutant set of questions. Please do include a link back to the blog you got them from, to simplify tracing the ancestry, and include these instructions.

Finally, pass it along to any number of your fellow bloggers. Remember, though, your success as a Darwinian replicator is going to be measured by the propagation of your variants, which is going to be a function of both the interest your well-honed questions generate and the number of successful attempts at reproducing them.

mindfuck.jpg

My Ancestry:

My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparent is Pharyngula.
My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparent is Metamagician and the Hellfire Club.
My great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparent is Flying Trilobite.
My great-great-great-great-great-great grandparent is A Blog Around the Clock.
My great-great-great-great-great grandparent is archy.
My great-great-great-great grandparent is Why Now?
My great-great-great grandparent is Hipparchia.
My great-great grandfathers are Archaeopteryx and Kiefus.
My great grandfather is Catnapping.
My grandmother is BirdAnonymous  

My mummy is Baino.

 

My statements:

• The best “badâ€? movie in comedy is: Grandma’s Boy
• The worst earworm in pop music is: “Every time we touch” by Cascada(aarrgh)
• The best re-readable novel in school-days literature is: “The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger

And now, with much evil laughter I pass this infection to you:

Going Like Sixty *mwa ha ha ha*

Brian F *mwa ha ha ha ha*

Foreigner by Default *mwa ha ha ha ha ha*

Best of feckin’ luck to you.

Oct 11

Fast and Loose

Posted on Thursday, October 11, 2007 in Awards!, memememememe

Me daddy – God bless ‘im - threw an award my way recently… this one is the ‘Break Out Blogger’ award:

“This award casts a spotlight on bloggers who are just beginning to draw lotsa attention — the equivalent of a song with a bullet on Billboard’s Top 100 chart. Lotsa good posts. Lotsa good buzz. These bloggers are going places in a hurry.â€?

What a nice feeling.  These awards always seem to arrive with perfect timing!  Lately there’s been a tiny rite-of-passage going on with my blog.  The honeymoon phase is wearing off as my stats get lower and my Google rating still remains a big duck egg, and this used to concern me. I used to get a bang from seeing my Technorati rating go up a notch, but it seems to be asleep lately, and I find myself not really caring so much anymore.  This proves that I’m in it as a hobby, as opposed to worrying about the popularity race.  I don’t really see my blog going anywhere in a huge hurry… but it’s still all good.

There are people who are naturally good at pretty much everything, an all-rounder sort of person.  Then there are people who float just under the surface undetected, like me.  It’s a nice place to be… you can bob up and down without the stress of having to keep afloat.  I found this especially true in school, and was musing through an old school yearbook recently, having a laugh at the awards I never won back then.

You had the Merit Award, the Studies Award, the Academic Achievement Award, the Subject Award, the Senior and Junior Linguist, the Student of the Year, the Dillon Cup, the Talented Teens Award, the Public Speaking award, the Punctuality Award, the Highest Achiever Award, the Sports Awards, the Young Entrepreneurs Award… it goes on and on.  The gas thing about these awards is, even though they apparently give everyone a chance to win something, the same kids got all the awards.  One chick walked away with 11 awards in the bag one year, thus ironically making her the most unpopular child ever.  Jealousy is a bitch.  In all my years at school, I won just one award… a subject award in music, for my fiddling endeavours.  I’d won a cup before I started school at the age of 6 for my piano-ing endeavours, so they went well together.  Along with my blogging awards, it’s appearing to me that I’m a bit of a creative cow.  It’s just hard to get used to!  Sometimes it feels like people are just taking the piss, or carrying through in a tag-like fashion. 

I don’t care.  For all the people that bitch about awards being fast and loose, I think the point is being lost.  It’s a wonderful thing to encourage someone’s efforts even if they aren’t in first place.  I think a lot of kids in my old school would’ve loved this sort of boost, instead of being left to feel a bit of a nobody in the end.

So, in this spirit, I’m going to pass the award on to the following bloggers.  Not because it’s a taggy type thing, but because they deserve them.  They are the blogs I go to whenever I need a dose of amusement and weirdness:

Grannymar, you’re brilliant because you have a huge range of soulful subject matter, with a few excellent jokes thrown in.  You’re also an extremely faithful commenter, so this is my way of thanking you for finding the time somehow to leave messages on our blogs and give us all a lift.

Coffee Helps!  Hails, I love reading your posts because you never really know what’s coming next, and at times it feels like I’ve known you for years.  AND I like the way you throw up pictures of pretty men because there’s always a need for pretty men.

Gimme over at Stranded on Gaia, you spew your feelings with such style, it’s an inspiration.  It’s like reading the blog of Withnail.

I’ve only recently discovered Foreigner by Default, but it’s one of the blogs I read most frequently.  You definately know how to entertain!

May you all bob frequently, and with style.

Aug 15

What's a schmoozer? You're lookin' at one!

Posted on Wednesday, August 15, 2007 in Awards!, Family, Jobs, memememememe

Whoa.  I’ve just learned a totally new word today that sounds even cooler when you say it with a headcold!

I didn’t look it up, I didn’t have to.  I’m robbing this from me daddyo

schmooze or schmoose also shmooze
v.intr. To converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.
v.tr. To engage in schmoozing with
n. The act or an instance of schmoozing.

Schmooze award

Here it is!  My schmoozing award!

 

Jefferson!

Bertie’s 3rd nipple!

 

Thanks dudes!

I really like this idea.. it means that you’ve been appreciated as a bonifide citizen of the blogging community, not out for personal gain as such, more to make friends and share in the spirit of the atmosphere.   It’s not easy blending blogging with real life sometimes.  There are so many friends and sources of inspiration out there among you that I’ve found, and I try to catch up with them as regularly as I can, but some of you are just so dang fast!  I’ve fallen into a sort of pattern now of three days reading, and one day writing posts of my own while being a busy mum too, so it’s lovely to be recognised for that.

Hop over and read Jefferson’s post, he has a much better description!

This is going to be tough, this bit.

I nominate in turn:

The Humble Housewife; I’m so glad our paths crossed.. your recipies are yummy and you’re like a kindred spirit on here :)

Mammy; This one’s a cunning fox.  I’m glad you found an outlet for your writing… (this woman’s been published, k’now!)  Keep it up! 

Grannymar; Because you’re such a motherly spirit around here.. your posts are warm and familiar, and you always find time to comment, which ain’t easy!

Stupid Irish Daddy; Definately the prince of schmooze.  And of weirdness.  The good kind.

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Right.  It’s been put upon me to organize a table-quiz.  I’m a very disorganised person, so this should be either very interesting or very embarrassing.  I’m going to start by finding 80 excellent quiz questions and 10 ‘who is this?’ photos.

If anyone’s ever organized anything like this before, I’m begging you… share with me!