Posted on Monday, March 30, 2009
in Humourarse, Strange and Unusual
(This post is brought to you in association with Maxi Cane’s Filthy Butt Fun Competition)
“‘Morning love, here’s your coffee… did you have fun with your girl’s night out last night?”
“Umm… yeah.” I felt sick.
“What’s up? You’re so pale… over indulgence?” The Accidental Terrorist tried to hug me, but I backed away sheepishly.
“Sort of, not exactly, uhh… I sort of… have a confession to make. You might want to sit down.”
“Ok, fire away, don’t worry, you can tell me anything.”
“Right. Here goes. I… I… I ate pussy last night. I promise I won’t ever do it again, things just got a bit out of hand, I was careless… I didn’t think of the consequences… I’m so sorry!” I babbled away, my voice trickling into a fit of guilt-ridden tears. There was a moment of tense silence.
TAT’s face broadened into a smile. “You did what? Run that past me again?”
“I ate pussy… it was my first time, and my last, I promise. I hope you’re not too angry?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re doing strange things to my trousers here, of course I’m not angry.”
“Would you do it again?”
“I don’t think so… I thought you’d be repulsed by it.”
“Babe, never, you know me, I’m always up for experimentation… here, give me a kiss – (x) – Wow.. I can still taste it off your lips… mmmmm.”
“Really. If you do it again, can I watch?”
“Umm… of course… you can eat it too if you like, I just didn’t know you were that open minded!”
“Thanks babe, that sounds like a potentially great night out! So tell me honestly… did you enjoy it?”
“I really did, that was until I got a whisker caught between my teeth.”
“No, I mean a real whisker… a Calico I think, judging by the colour of it.”
*several minutes of confusion follow*
“Eh? Wait. What?”
“Yeah. That’s definitely the LAST time I’m eating in that place. The few beers put a wicked goo on me for a curry, so we stopped at the first place we found. I was halfway through the meal before I realised I was eating someone’s cat, and I felt so guilty and disgusted, but now I’ve spoken to you about it and you seem so enthusiastic, I don’t feel so bad- if it means that much to you I’d do it again!”
*TAT leaves the room rapidly and empties his breakfast into the loo*
Men. So fickle!