Posted on Tuesday, July 17, 2012
in Strange and Unusual
Have you ever felt that something about you is not quite right? That is… is there something about you that you’ve been afraid to talk about for fear of labeling, fear that people will think you’re strange? I did. That is until my friend recently reached out to me with an exact same concern, and I found out that I’m not such a psychopath after all. Turns out I don’t need Mental Health Treatment…or maybe I do, and maybe my friend does too.
It seemed a good time to consult the blog.
It normally happens whilst the brain is occupied with something else. I might be cooking, or reading, or flipping a mattress when suddenly a voice would chime in and cause me to pause. It’s not an audible voice as such, merely a realisation that somebody has just shouted at me and seems extremely angry. To pick out the exact words of this voice would seem pointless, language seems unnecessary to this shouting entity. The point is that it’s angry and frustrated with me. It could be saying ‘Cop On!’ or ‘Hurry Up!‘ or ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?!’ but it really doesn’t matter. I hear its tone, I hear that it’s there, and I hear that it’s angry. I don’t know if it’s me, or a guardian angel, or a part of my brain that shouldn’t be there at all.
Now I realise that I’m not alone in this, and that’s nice. But now I’m curious. Does everybody hear this echo of angriness or is it just me and my buddy? We share similar characteristics in that we’re both slightly insecure with self-esteem issues… we also both have a secret love for the zombie genre and enjoy Salad Fingers cartoons. It has nothing to do with alcohol or drugs, because this voice has been around long before all of that experimentation began. It all seems completely illogical.
It tells me it loves me sometimes. It whispers this. But most of the time it yells.
When it starts to tell me to burn things, or to kill everybody, that’s when I’ll begin self-medication. Drop Dead Fred.
But in the meantime, I’m curious. Very curious.
Do you hear voices too?