Nov 6
Snacking between meals
Posted on Sunday, November 6, 2011 in Family, Humourarse, Strange and Unusual
A public health nurse dropped by recently, it wasn’t an official appointment, just an old friend. Just as well, in hindsight. She admired Sir Fartsalot’s struts as he toddled with his funky nappy walk (you know the way they do) around the porch as we chatted on the doorstep, and commented that he had something in his mouth. I leaned down to him, gave the innards of his little mouth a sweep with my pinky finger and evicted a well chewed cigarette butt. Impressed with my mothering skills I think this lady was not, but she didn’t show it. She laughed it off, fair play to her.
He’s down to seven butts a day now, thank God.
You should have just told her it was the equivalent to a toddler nicotine patch. If there is a shred of loose lint in the house, my niece will find it.
Aww his Grandad will be proud
Jefferson; Sure isn’t it good for their immune systems? I regularly encourage toilet bowl play.
Helen; Who do you think got him hooked? *sigh*
Where does he get his fags? Does he have a fake ID card or does he just pick them up off the street?
He gets his big sister to collect them off the ground in the neighbourhood (for a 10% cut). The residents committee is very pleased with the tidyness of the pavements lately. She’s doing a side-business collecting used chewing gum, see.
Why do I get the blame for everything in that family?
You should have seen his little eyes light up when he called for a trick or treat.
I filled his black sack with a years full of
butts, such are the memories that I would like him to have of his Granny.
*Faints in horror*
Heh, Granny, funny :)
He shall refer to you as Granny Butt. And then spend many hours of his life explaining to others that no, it’s not because of the size of her arse. :-p
Jo; Oh, it’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Grandad; Not blame, credit! Sir Fartsalot wants a pipe for Christmas, by the way.
That’s fine. I have a small one he can have. It’s nicely broken in and is about the right size for a two year old. He’ll have to buy his own tobacco though.