The chicken who almost crossed the road
What made her do it?
-Was it the recession? Did stress stem her egg production and lead her to suicide?
-Did she really want to know what was on the other side?
-Was she the victim of a dare?
All I know is that I was minding my own business driving at a fair lick on the N11 when a brown streak ran underneath my fore-left tyre and died quickly. My rear view mirror showed a cloud of brown feathers as the articulated truck behind almost crashed. It was as though somebody shot a pillow point-blank.
I was involved in a hit-and-run, and I feel terrible.
That’s all I have to say about that.
PS. Shortly afterwards I was to be found wandering down the median strip of a dual-carriageway on a completely unrelated matter. If you beeped at a lady wearing a white hoodie and looking very confused, that was me. I’ve had a very weird morning, but you’ve probably already gathered that.
there’s a feather in your hair…
has anyone seen my birdie?
Always a guilty sign that, returning to the scene of the crime
The patriarchy forced this decision on the chicken.
Yes my Indian name is Little Chief Squashing Bird. The feather stays.
I ate her with some fava beans and a nice bottle of scotch. The scotch took my mind off the tarmac grit.
I had to come back with a spatula, see. Giblets are on me.
That chicken was moving like shit off a shovel… I’d say it got the beady eye from Darina Allen and got the heebyjeebies.
Chicken soup for the soul . . I hate running over things, it’s that bumpetty-sqelch that gets me every time! Then there’s the hours of scraping wabbit gloop off the bumper bar. But they deserve it . . they stop running half way across.
Oh dear!
I hope you dound what you were looking for while wandering on the median!
ach. FOUND.
No I didn’t I’m afraid, I gave up when I realised my life was probably worth a bit more than 75 euros.
I wonder if there was egg all over the road too. Why were you wandering the median, tax disc fly out the window?
This is true.
Sorry you got trapped in my spam filter… had to spend a while scraping your comment off my bumper!!!
No it was an uber-expensive window guard that stops you getting soaked while using your windscreen washer and having a simultaneous smoke out the window.
Stupid, but I really really hate it when my cigarettes get wet.