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Aug 1

Bitch.ie

Posted on Friday, August 1, 2008 in Philosophy, Rantings

“Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.” – Henry Ward Beecher

I think blogging is a type of art form.  It’s not a skill or an ability, it doesn’t require practice, it’s simply words typed into a text-field that represents the thoughts of the writer.  Good grammar is a boon, but not that important to the overall message, especially when that message is interesting and real.

Blogging is about information, the search for answers and the discovery of the unusual.  An exceptionally good blogger wins praise (and awards!) for constantly producing insightful content in a way that the rest of the world can relate to and enjoy.

Now… I’ve only been blogging for a year and I know that my content has gotten neither better nor worse, but at least I understand blogology a little bit better.  There are un-written rules that state that you shouldn’t slag another blog without good reason because that would be like betraying one of your own, but I’m going to do it anyway.

I wasn’t going to do this.  I’ve wanted to do it for such a long time but was afraid that I would turn into someone’s enemy and now I see that life is not about being afraid, it’s about standing up for what’s real.  So, I’m about to do a drive-by-shooting of my own.

-o0o-

Beaut.ie annoys the hell out of me.

It’s far too pink for a start, and the content is similar to a batch of expired Gruyère.  It’s worth a try because it is – by it’s nature – supposed to improve with age, but shortly afterwards you realise it hasn’t, and now you just feel very very sick.  Why does expired cheese win awards?

OMG!!! Yeah that’s right, I’m a bitch.  But!!!  I have a defence.

Exhibit A: 90210: Fondly Remembered  – I’m sorry, but wasn’t that show fairly shite?

Exhibit B: (From Win! Cocoon Limerick Signature Treatment Facial)

Cocoon use superb cutting edge ranges like Ole Henriksen, Phyts and NVEY ECO. They subscribe to a natural, pure and totally gorgeous philosophy and “believe that the essence of a glowing and radiant complexion lies in the combination of fantastic facials using the best products and beautiful makeup”.

That sounds exactly like our philosophy at Beaut.ie!

-but wait!  I thought that the essence of a glowing and radiant complexion lies in plenty of water, a varied healthy diet and copious orgasms?  Why does everything on this site have to be chemically based with a kiss-ass review? 

I told yiz all about my encounter with the dark side of facials recently, and how it’d left my skin so sore and sensitive that I’d been slapping on the Aveeno, because anything else had caused immediate heat, irritation and redness … So then I read the press release. It appears that this stuff works because of an ingredient it shares in common with Aveeno – Feverfew. This is a little powerhouse of a plant, and it works to soothe irritations and calm inflammation. So it’s brilliant for use in skincare aimed at anyone who reacts badly to yer run-of-the-mill beauty products.

Price and availability – these babies are €13.95, and you’ll pick the brand up in chemists nationwide.

– Ok, so this lady is learning that the usual bunny torture juice she’s been subjecting to her skin is rotting her skin and robs her of her hard-earned cash, but does she stop?  Does she look for alternatives?  Nope, she’s sold out and seems committed to endless skin abuse.

From Dianne Brill Still and Fill All Night Temptation;

Ingredients include Swiss hydro apple fruit (not many of them down in Tesco), essence of snake venom, oasis cactus, vitamins and shea butter – all making this night repair cream smell absolutely yummy (think granny smiths).

-Snake venom?!?!  Cactus?!?  By jove, I think this girl’s been had!

Exhibit C: The Blather Category

365 comments?  I wander in to see what the fuss is about and find myself in a field of sheep.  They seem lost for information and dying for advice about real issues… diet, contraception, men, health… the sort of shit all us girls want to know about.  So what’s the post that triggered these questions off?

Beaut.ie Blather: Thursday

Published by Aphrodite July 24th, 2008 in Beaut.ie blather

Oh glorious Thursday you’re here already!

Let’s

Get

Our

Blather on!

Baaa.  Where’s the content? Where’s the reality, the hard-core face-it-or-die reality that is behind real beauty?  What the fuck is the point of looking like a tango’ed chemical junkie when real beaut.ie lies beneath?

I’m a girl, and I want to learn ways to make the job easier… ways to make my own shampoo, ways to understand hormones just a smidge better, ways to deal with the task of looking half-decent and feeling contented with just three hours sleep and a barrel-load of emotional baggage.  I want to see oldskool advice – advice that my mum taught me about pinching my cheeks, or relaxing my face for ten minutes to ward off headaches and wrinkles.  I want to know what stuff I should be drinking to help me understand blokes.   I want to know what’s truly good for me without the bullshit and the price-tag.  Is it so much to ask?

I do have to say Kudos to its designers (apart from all the pinkness) though, for it is an excellently navigable site, should you be arsed.

Beaut.ie is letting the side down. 

This isn’t beauty, it’s not good advice, it’s just another advertising site.

-o0o-

There I said it.

Bring on the comments

  1. Baino says:

    I’ve dabbled with the chemical alternatives . . nothing works . . and they’re bloody expensive. Its all twaddle. Although I’m partial to a professional pamper as long as they don’t push product on me!
    I manage with a cheap ass Nivea all in one cleanser and exfoliant (sand paper the friggin wrinkles off I say) and a light moisturiser. Although I have been told that haemorroid cream can take years off your face. Best advice for lovely skin: quit smoking, drink 8 glasses of water a day; get desexed and use Preparation H! – not necessarily in that order!

  2. [bows in profound respect]

  3. TenaciousT says:

    Ouch…but I agree with you all the way! Of course it might have something to do with all my chemical intolerances and that my skin is itching just even thinking about the site;-) There are a few blogs out there though that seem like one big extended ad!

  4. tipped says:

    someone had a bowl of bitch this morning!! if it bothers you so much then don’t read it. start your own beauty blog.

  5. kerryview says:

    Congrats. Stand up. Say what’s on your mind. If bitch.ie want to comment on you, let them. The only reason I visited the site was because of you – so I added to their visitor count. Does my skin need help? I don’t know.

  6. Maxi Cane says:

    I haven’t visited the site, and I won’t either just because it sounds like a pile of shite.

    If I’m right in saying that it’s a site about “Beauty and Health” then fuck them in the ear. I hate beauticians and all who work in the industry because they earn their money “advising” others on how to look all the while looking like Chernobyl victims with leprosy that got forgotten about in the spray tan booth.

    Welcome to the dark side K8.

    It’s better over here.

  7. Granny says:

    To think Emily Pankhurst chained herself to gates lo liberate us from such folly!

  8. Thumper says:

    Hey Kate,

    I posted about this on beaut.ie so I figured I should post something here too. It’s an interesting take on a website that I visit everyday but
    I don’t think that’s what this site is about. I agree with you that noone should be obsessed with beauty and also that one type of beauty shouldn’t be promoted. Beaut.ie is a fun site though that makes work a bit more tolerable and you can tell from the blather that there is all shapes and sizes and opinions represented. It’s a blog about beauty so obviously that’s what people would be talking about there. And I have to say there isn’t many blogs on the web that are so friendly and supportive.

    Plus I find the reviews are all quite balanced and accurate. They knock stuff if it’s rubbish. The admin girls obviously love beauty stuff and that enthusiasm comes across.

    That’s my side of the argument anyway!

  9. Niall J says:

    Sounds like a touch of the green eyed monster to me

  10. K8 says:

    Baino; Two things I’ve always been too chicken to try are; Prep. H eye cream and YR sauce in my tea. Both are supposed to be excellent but the thought weirds me out.

    Thriftcriminal; Dude!

    Tenatious T; That’s why MySpace is starting to bug me. Social networking = advertising.

    Tipped; I really don’t read it. I check on it every few months to see if there’s anything original but all I see are images of products and beautiful women. Are they prepetuating a stereotype?

    Kerryview; It’s an informative site, but it seems like the tip of a potential iceberg. I love the idea of this blog, it’s just too damn girly!

    Maxi Cane; I read your comment on me phone at work and cracked up. Passenger thought I was a lunatic! Why is the dark side so damn inviting?

    Wise Mammy; *sigh* I don’t think she’d be too happy with my pissing other women off though.

    Thumper; Thanks for commenting on this! I read the comments on this morning’s blather, Jeez, these girls need to loosen up ;) I meant nothing harmful, the blog has some very good writers, but it all seems quite shallow… I couldn’t help but notice that only a small percentage of blatherers comment about cosmetics, the rest discuss real things… things that might make good posts that are still beauty related.
    I guess beaut.ie annoys me because of its atmosphere. It’s home to a whole genre of women that I can’t relate to because it all seems so fake, Irish women aren’t all like that… not saying I’m fucking perfect of course… but they could do with broadening their horizons.
    It’s a positive insult ;)

    Niall J; Close. It was the don’t give a shit monster which is just as bad.

  11. warrior says:

    Did you get paid for that because of course everyone just clicked on the link to see what you were talking about……………..ahem!

  12. warrior says:

    I read the first half of the first line and before I knew it 5,000 years of hereditary influence of what it is to be a man kicked and I clicked away………………….still I reckon I will have goose bumps for few days…………………….think they might have a remedy? ………..arrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s contagious.

  13. K8 says:

    Warrior; Any publicity is good publicity, innit? I’m sure the hits will soften the blow of my cat-scratch.
    Fight the pink. It represents the OMG! *lol* generation of women and you should be afraid. Very afraid.
    Personally I reckon that womankind’s colour should be a shade of orange. I can relate to orange, but pink scares the bejeebus out of me.

  14. Maxi Cane says:

    The dark side is so inviting because it’s more fun to stir it up than it is to pat someone on the back.

    Besides, fake tan smudges when you pat these cunts on the back leaving you looking like your hand was used as a nappy.

  15. I was discovered by A Beaut! I brought one of the admin home in the cab and she convinced me to start blogging!

    Yeah…… OK ……… that’s probably another argument against it

  16. That looked satisfying! And you gave them extra hits through the linkage… you’re a kind gunman!

  17. [...] you see that wans blog? Talk about having nothing better to do with her [...]

  18. I tried one of those facials they recommended. Never again – couldn’t get that muck out of me beard for weeks.

  19. I’ll echo Thriftcriminal. If Mulley ever comes up with a Sentence Of The Month award, I’d nominate this:

    “What the fuck is the point of looking like a tango’ed chemical junkie when real beaut.ie lies beneath?”

  20. K8 says:

    Maxi Cane; I’m surprised they haven’t discovered creosote yet. Far more durable colour and extremely handy when it rains…

    Roy; I’m glad you took her advice!!! To quote some lines from a Mary Poppins song…
    “Though we adore (them) individually
    We agree that as a group they’re rather stupid!”
    Ok so this song is about men, but it still works ;)

    Jenny; It was strangely satisfying alright, like throwing a chair at bullet-proof glass.

    Primal Sneeze; The smell of burning hair is a bastard all right. Next time, use the stuff to de-grease an engine. It’s highly effective. L’Oreal, because your motorbike’s worth it.

  21. Maxi Cane says:

    Creosote smells better too.

  22. K8 says:

    Pedro Monscooch; Thanks!! They really didn’t like that one. I think I may have hit a nerve :)

    Maxi Cane; It’s also quite apt being that you spread it on planks…
    (rawr! Yes, I would like a saucer of milk, thanks.)

  23. Maxi Cane says:

    Kudos K8, kudos indeed.

  24. Interesting post K8 the GR8, sometimes the amount of emphasis places on appearance (for both men and women) is depressing. Women should be able to leave the house without feeling like they have to slap on a load of make up and the thought of men wearing make up is just weird!

  25. K8 says:

    Bettythesheep; They’re doing body dismorphic disorders no favours… they’re idolizing pretty thin women and encouraging people to spend money on expensive tack to feel better about themselves. Beauty is about health and happiness, and no amount of chemical gunge will supply this.

  26. Grandad says:

    What really scares me is the way they are discussing this but no one has mentioned the site. How do they know which site they are talking about? Is there some kind of weird collective subconscious at work here? I am scared…

    The Stepford Girls are revolting. :)

  27. Maxi Cane says:

    Couldn’t help it

  28. Load of old shite………all that money wasted, what’s wrong with soap ‘n’ water?

    I have to laugh sometimes when I escort our guests to the Spa….I feel like telling them they should just spend their money in the bar.

  29. Granny says:

    I’m going to be an airhead when I grow up! Nothin to worry about cept fake tan.

  30. le craic says:

    The site appeals to a lot of people and I’d just let them on with it. I don’t think there’s any harm in anyone wanting to look their best but unfortunately it gets to obsessive levels for some and in that respect a lot of your thoughts are dead on.

    If beaut.ie didn’t exist would the world be a better place? Would their readers suddenly see the light and stop obsessing about their looks? Would they stop the time theft from their employers as they blather away on the site?

    You know the answer to that, but you’re right to speak your mind. I’m sure the girls over there are big enough to take it on the chin.

  31. ivicia says:

    I use to comment on that site but have not bothered for a long time now. It started as a site to review products and give advise on how and where to get these products. After a while commenters were getting to know each other and leaving more comments so they started a blather for off topic comments – there was often over 300 to 400 comments.

    It get a massive amount of hits – 5 million in one month. Kirstie got a job as a beauty editor and Aphrodite (the 2 founders) has got a book deal, all as a result of the site. I’d say they have not spent one penny on products in years and if I was them I’d sell it to L’oreal or google for a few million.

    It now seems to be filled with a lot of commenters who are not well and/or didn’t do so well in the leaving I’d say. These people seem to have jobs that are so boring that they ask if they should buy a ‘hello kitty’ tax disc or have mushroom or pepper sause for dinner.

  32. ivicia says:

    Sorry I hit submit too soon.

    I just want to finish off with stating that in the main I agree wwith you and once they sell the site they can set up another one called boring.ie.

  33. @ Maxi Cane: Creosote. That’s the new aftershave then, is it? I can hear the ads now: Creosote – for the man who wants preserve his pole.

  34. Maxi Cane says:

    @Primal:
    Indeed, and I do.

    But there are a number of ways to preserve oneself without looking like a saddle bag!

  35. Kirk M says:

    Now there’s a fine example of honesty in blogging. More…more!

    I’ll have you know I actually dug out and put on my old Cold War era NBC protection gear (Nuclear/Biological/Chemical protective gear) and headed over there for a look-see but that was only because I landed at Grandad’s post first. I was glad for your quotes from the site since even though I was still well protected, I don’t think I could handle another visit to that pink shrouded, chemical laced, online nightmare.

  36. Ruby says:

    As someone who is a fiend for organic toiletry/cosmetic stuff, I don’t relate to a lot of the product junkie stuff on beaut.ie, and I’m not a girly girl, SATC fan or pink lover either. But I think a lot of hard work goes into it and I’ve always loved the design. And I know I’ve seen DIY stuff on there about making your own facemasks, as well as coverage of my kinda organic-y stuff, but there is a dominance of coverage of high end (and high chemical) products – maybe that’s because you and I are in the minority in not buying them?

    I suppose we’re all different and while I don’t really care (or want to read much) about mascara or make-up or most beauty products, I respect the effort that goes into beaut.ie, even if it’s not a site that I’d read.

    And I have respect for you for airing your views so honestly. Like the blog!

  37. [...] does this have to do with blogs?  Via Grandad, I read K8 the GR8’s post about not having joined the Beaut.ie fan club when the Hedgehog concept came to mind. Beaut.ie is a perfect example of a blog which fits the [...]

  38. Dankoozy says:

    how can you even be sure that beaut.ie is run by real people? Its probably just a bash script processing the run-off from a marketing company based in Dublin.or singapore

  39. K8 says:

    Pater; Email or witchcraft? I hope it’s the latter. How cool.

    Maxi Cane; I had a weird dream about hiring Nicholas Cage to raid all ****** restauraunts on Dublin’s Southside last night. That was a real melon twister let me tell you.

    Queen of Clean; Maybe that’s why they call it a Spa?

    Mammy, I wouldn’t advise it, it plays havoc with the bed sheets.

    Le Craic; I suppose my ultimate lament would be – why is the blog so huge? I have to admit I was a sucker for all that stuff when I was a kid, before I grew cynical, so I can understand why the blog is so popular. I guess I’m having a go at myself for being so naive.

    Ivicia; So happy you commented -welcome to the madness :)
    Maybe the original audience has grown up and moved on… the void is filled with new voices, bubble heads (like I used to be) that are waiting to pop. Sanity only really kicks in at about 24 I think. For most of us.

    Kirk M; I’ve always wondered what CS gas feels like, it sounds pretty rotten. Very much like walking past the perfume counter in Brown Thomas/Bloomingdales

    Ruby; What an excellent comment, thanks. You’re right, it is hippie-vision really. I feel that a lot of the world’s problems are due to lies or mistruths, problems that can potentially be fixed. I had a go at this site because of the mistrust it represented, not because of the people who comment on it (though I try to avoid these types of people at all costs…), they just sort of – got in the way.

    Dankoozy; You mean like Fair City?

  40. Maxi Cane says:

    I tell ya, if Nicholas Cage walks in looking for me I’ll be extremely impressed!

    That’s dedication!

  41. Kay says:

    K8, you really ARE Gr8

    Singin my song – personally i say that this era of shallow, materialistic superficial oompa loompa celebrity focused sheep-like generation has evolved (if not stemmed) from the Spice Girls, damn them to hell.

  42. K8 says:

    I would’ve thought that the R’nB (the new stuff though -ugh) would enrage women, but apparently they like being viewed as bitches and ho’s. Girl power has made a really bad name for itself! So happy to meet a fellow fluff hater:)

  43. Kay says:

    yeh i was the one who used to steal the pink fluffy pens in school with the intention of inserting them in certain ppls certain areas, but never quite got round to it

  44. Regina Flota says:

    more you wash your hands, the more you’ll have to use lotion. Hope this works for you!

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