Feb 29th, 2008
Vaguely insulted
This is how conversations are going lately:
-o-
*bland conversation happens while I fidget, gasping for an opportunity to brag about being shortlisted*
-break in conversation flow…-
Other party: “So anyway enough about me! Have you any news yerself?”
Me: “Uhhh, not really,” *feigns casual but entirely fake joggage of memory* “Oh! Apart from this award thingy I’m going to on Saturday!”
Other party: “Award thingy? What award thingy?”
Me: “It’s a blog award ceremony in Town.”
Other party: “A blog? Blololog! *giggle* What’s a blog? Sounds like something you’d read on a toilet (ha ha ha)… like ‘Please flush your blog’! (ha ha ha ha)
Me: (Vaguely insulted) You haven’t heard of a blog yet? Psht, you use the internet don’t you? You must have heard of blogs!”
Other party: “Uhh no. Enlighten me.”
Me: “It’s like a soapbox, or a magazine article that you write and publish onto a website.”
Other party: “Like Bebo?”
Me: “No, sad sap, not like Bebo.”
Other party: “What the fuck is a soapbox?”
Me: *sigh* “A medium for public announcement I suppose.”
Other party: “What do you have that’s worth announcing?!”
Me: “I don’t know, stuff I guess. You read magazines! If you read magazines you’ll like reading blogs.”
Other party: *Starts to lose interest* “So tell me about the awards… you know someone up for one?”
Me: “Me!”
Other party: “No way… seriously? There can’t be that much competition so, is it a small function?”
Me: “Fuck you!”
Other party: “Sorry I didn’t mean it like that… *shuffles nervously*”
Me: “It’s ok. So anyway, if you want to know what a blog is, why not visit mine? It’s a bit mental but you might like it, especially as you’re into creativity and all that stuff yourself…”
Other party: “Uhh, ok, what’s the address?” *Examines nails*
Me: “Search for ‘Kate the Great’ but replace the ‘ate’ bits with the figure 8.”
Other party: “What?”
Me: *repeats the concept* “Or just cackaloo.com, that’s easier.”
Other party: “Whatever… so are you going out this weekend?”
Me: “Yeah, dude, I’m going to a sodding blog award ceremony! Hey you know what? I never get awards for stuff, let alone being nominated for one. Where’s the love? Where’s the friendly support? What sort of sodding friend are you?”
Other party: “Jeez, relax! I’ll look at your site, ok? Feel better now?”
Me: *scowl* “Tell me how to find my webpage, smartarse!”
Other party: “Uhhh, I search for ‘crackapoo’, or ‘Kate has eight’, right?”
Me: “Screw you, fuckface!”
Other party: “Whatever. Hey did I tell you I got new shoes?”
Me: “I hope you fall over and break your legs and I hope your new heels end up stabbing you in your cold, cold heart, beeeaatch!” *I walk off sulking*
-o-
This is a pretty accurate conversation. You might think ‘What a sucky friend that is!’, but the funny thing is, this conversation happens with pretty much everybody. What exactly is so naff about blogging?
Take my best bud, for example. I asked her to come with me on the night, and she said ‘Sure, whatever… hey why don’t we just show our faces for a bit and then go out to a proper pub? X and X are in Dublin on Saturday night, we could catch up with them and have more fun!’
Where’s the love, people? Where’s the love?!?!?
Another addendum:
You know what? That was bang out of order my slagging Best bud, in hindsight it’s well exaggerated, just the product of a scorned lady. If you should ever read this, Pooh, know that I totally understood the plans, but used you cheaply to further a point because I’m that sort of friend. I look forward to your slaps unless you don’t end up reading this, in which case- Nice one!