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Feb 10

How do girls pee?

Posted on Sunday, February 10, 2008 in Humourarse, Little known facts, Strange and Unusual, Taboo

It’s been troubling me lately that one of my most popular posts is ‘Why do girls pee in pairs?‘.  The reason that it’s so popular is that people keep googling ‘How do girls pee?’ and finding me.  I have a feeling that this post isn’t what they were looking for, and I don’t want to let them down.

Who googles ‘How do girls pee?’ anyway?  Dodgy question, that.  You just never know these days.  It is, however, a frequently asked question apparently.  So, for the benefit of you curious young people out there who are genuinely wondering, I’ll explain it for you.

If you fall into the ‘just lookin’ for kicks’ category however, then I suggest you skip the biology lesson, and go to the end of this post.

So how do girls pee, then?

toiletsign.jpg

As you probably know, girls don’t have penises.  They sit down to pee because they don’t have this specialist aiming equipment, however there are several inventions out there that can help with this problem.  Very handy for long journeys and rock concerts.

The same process happens with males and females.  Food and water is put into the body, then processed by the stomach and liver.  All waste liquid then passes through the kidneys and ends up in the bladder.  When the bladder fills, a tube called a Urethra carries the pee to an external opening.  In men, the urethra runs through the penis and also carries ejaculate and pre-ejaculate during sex play. In women, the opening of the urethra is above the opening of the vagina. The opening of the urethra is very small and is not easy to see.  Here is a gratuitous drawing, which makes excellent use of the word ‘Sphincter’.

You’re probably wondering how girls handle the dripping problem, right?  The answer is toilet paper, and lots of it, after every function.  If you want to keep a female happy (apart from leaving the toilet seat down), always replace the toilet rolls when they run out.  We are lost without it.

You might also be wondering what girls do when there are no toilets around.  The answer is that they squat, usually getting a friend to provide cover. 

For the very very ultra modern girl, there is the SHENIS.  It is the ultimate equaliser.

shenis_main.jpg

There.  That was embarrassing.

So anyway… what were you saying?

Bring on the comments

  1. manuel says:

    at last! my search is over! thank you………hehehehehehe

  2. What a bizarre thing for people to be searching for! WHY? I do like the Shenis though. Although why it has to look quite so much like a penis, I’m not really sure. Couldn’t it just be a tube of some kind?

    On a coach journey with school once, we had to stop somewhere and let the kids go to the loo. We couldn’t find anywhere nearby with toilets so we let them go in the bushes. The first worrying thing was that the girls didn’t know how. The second, was that we had a complaint from a parent when we got back about allowing her daughter to go to the toilet behind a tree (she wouldn’t even let her son do that). Personally, I would have thought it was better than allowing her daughter to wet herself but there we go.

    Anyway, I digress.

  3. Clearly there are some incredibly wierd people in the world. I mean the people searching that topic, not girls. Anyhoo, I imagine your matter of fact breakdown of the process will have wrecked any wierdo’s buzz. Why is the shenis gold?

  4. Deborah says:

    Wow – who would have thought there would be such a market for devices allowing us to pee standing up. That’s amazing. Damn.

  5. Hmmm, that was designed by a man…look at the size of it for Gods sake!!

  6. K8 says:

    Manuel; You mean the Shenis? It’s only right that the female staff in your establishment should be able to gain their own revenge by flavouring the soup too I suppose.

    Jenny; It IS bizarre, unless you really don’t have anyone else to ask I suppose. The amount of searches I get on this blows my mind, but hey, if my public wants peeing instructions, then peeing instructions is what I give!
    Bush peeing is an art, it should be nothing to be ashamed of, unless you fall victim to a nettle patch. Ouch.

    Thriftcriminal; I think I missed my calling as a biology teacher… The shenis also comes in black (naturally) apparently.

    Deborah; Now I know why it’s voodoo to look in another woman’s handbag! You just never know what you might find :/

    Queen of Clean; Hi and welcomes! The shenis was designed by Kiki, a Texan girl. She even has some very enlightening Shenis poetry on her site… it’s straaange.

  7. Grandad says:

    Bush peeing is an art, it should be nothing to be ashamed of

    I would never be ashamed to pee on George W. In fact I would be proud.

    Did I ever tell you you are a very strange person?

  8. Baino says:

    Ah bush peeing out here is a health hazard, bull ants, ticks et al and strictly for the birds, can’t do it without peeing on me shoes!

    I am fortunate to have a strong pelvic floor and can hold a wee for 18 hours (seriously) rather than attend a public toilet or squat in the bush!

    Do they have a smaller shenis, that one wouldn’t fit in me handbag!

  9. These look great! Since we’ve been in California we spend a lot of time going to outdoor events where the gentle hum of row of portaloos in 90 degree weather means you want to get in and out as quickly as you can. it’s murder with two five-year olds trying to keep their hands off surfaces too – it’s really hard to “hover” a a 40lb child in a tiny smelly cubicle. I am so flipping going to get us some of them doodads – I didn’t know they existed.

  10. K8 says:

    Dad; Strange is just a frame of mind.

    Baino; Yes Oz is definately one place I’d avoid squatting in. 18 hours?!?! Your bladder is epic!

    Granny; No, YOU’RE CRAZY.

    Sam; Oh hell yes, I’ve seen some pretty horrific portaloos in my time! Ick. Having handy origami pee-cones would be seriously tempting!

  11. Medbh says:

    The Shenis is fab, K8.

    You’re going to get plenty more freakazoids coming here looking for water sports after this.
    I’ve gotten loads of searches from people looking for women having sex with or masturbating with lobsters.
    Gross.

  12. ben says:

    does the girl in this picture (http://www.cackaloo.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/shenis_main.jpg )have an erm really small hand or erm what?

    *blush*

  13. K8 says:

    Medbh; That must have something to do with the folklore about that lady laying eggs in her toilet bowl… I worry that that might be true. *vom*

    Ben; Don’t be scared… if you visit her site you’ll find yourself pretty enlightened – it’s all quite innocent and practical, I assure you!

  14. Camron says:

    I keep getting searches for “Mom Sucks Great” (um, eww) and “Hot Wrestling Women.” If you’ve been to my site, you know how absurd this is.

    What a world.

    I’ve got to go shopping now – I’ve never wanted to purchase anything as badly as I want to purchase that Shenis. Think they’ll have it at the Wal-Mart?

  15. K8 says:

    This is now officially my most popular post.

    Sucks to be a dissapointed perv I’d say…

  16. pornagator says:

    i like cock

  17. pornagator says:

    titty fuck on k8 :]

  18. Urmila Mathondkar says:

    That was embarrassing.

  19. K8 says:

    You’re embarassing.

  20. Katie says:

    Dood. Just squat over the damn public toilet, sheesh. Though I do agree with the bush peeing and shoe part. However, maybe a stopping at a gas station would be a good idea ._.

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