K8 the GR8

My new bloggybuddy Camron at Plenipotentiary left a comment on my last post:

I need to have my chimney swept, and don’t want to fork over the $75. Is this something you could teach me? (Online learning is all the rage now…) You could do a “How To� post.

HOW TO CLEAN A CHIMNEY THE LAZY WAY

Difficulty: None, really.

What you need:

1 monkey
1 chimney cleaning brush and about 8 screw-on poles (depending on the height of your gaff), bought from DIY shop.
1 large sheet
1 empty coal sack or tarp/plastic sheeting
1 bucket
1 small shovel
Roll of Duck tape and scissors or knife
1 apron
Dust mask and goggles if you want to be extra cautious.
1 torch

Got everything?  Then we’ll begin.

- Send the monkey out to the kitchen to cook up an Irish fry, which should be ready by the time you’re finished.

- Clear the fireplace of ash and debris, remove the grate and fire guard.

- Clear the area around the fireplace, and lay the sheet so that it covers as much of the hearth and surrounding floor as possible.  Use duck tape to stick the edge of the sheet to the front of the fireplace.  This ensures that sheet won’t slip and that soot won’t get underneath.

- Cover the front of the fireplace with the empty coal sack, leaving a loose gap underneath.  Use duck-tape to keep the bag in place, but give yourself enough slack to be able to lift the sack to investigate the chimney flue.

- Use your torch to find the damper (if you have one), it’s usually just inside the chimney as you look up,  and open it to allow air to flow freely through the flue.

- Connect the brush head to a pole, and shove it up the chimney.  Jimmy it around to get the immediate soot out.

- The next bit is tricky.  You need to connect another length of pole (twist her tight, you don’t want it to come undone halfway up…), then manoever the brush through the narrow part at the top of the firebox.  You might need a torch to check for progress. 

- From here on in, all you’re doing is connecting each pole length by length as you push the brush further up the chimney.  When you run out of poles, or hit serious resistance, you can probably bet you’re near the top.  Depending on the type of chimney stack you have, you might not want to push the brush all the way to the outside, either way I don’t think it really matters as most of the creosote should be brushed away by now.  There’s nothing wrong with half-assed, anyway.

- Reverse the process, pulling the poles out and disconnecting them as you go.  Do this carefully as you’ll be pulling an avalanche of soot into the grate, especially when the brush arrives back.  Wrap the brush and poles and put them out of your way, then scoop the soot into a bucket.  Brush any remaining blackness onto your sheet, unstick it, and bring it outside for a good shake.

- Done!

- Go and eat your fry-up, pet your monkey, and go have a shower.