K8 the GR8

The Accidental Terrorist has this metrosexual friend who on the surface seems well ‘ard, until he opens his mouth or confesses his favourite film.  He loaned the latter to us last week, and told TAT to ignore the blurb and promise to watch the whole thing in its entirety.  TAT seemed unimpressed but resolved to try.

The film was ‘Bitter Moon’, a film from 1992, directed by Roman Polanski (Name sounds familiar?  He also directed The Pianist, Ninth Gate and Rosemary’s Baby *oh right, him!*), starring Hugh Grant, Kristin Scott Thomas, Emmanuelle Seigner (Polanski’s missus!) and Peter Coyote (the mean scientist guy from E.T.).

What do you mean you can’t believe I haven’t seen this yet?!  Shut up.

Whoa.  What a film.  It almost fell victim to the halfway-through *lets just turn this shite off and watch something else* syndrome, had it not been for TAT’s promise to his friend, for the story build-up was looking decidedly chick-flickish.

It is, however, not necessarily chickflickish at all, unless you are a woman who likes to watch YOP being licked from a pair of diddies over breakfast.  It is full-on sexual exploration down every alley you could think of (’scuse the pun) without being a pornographic flick. 

Do. Not. Watch. This. Film. With. Your. Parents.

(Or with a new boyfriend, or a prim cousin, or a neighbour with a beard.)

A prim English couple (Grant and Scott-Thomas) are trying to put the zing back into their static love life on a romantic cruise.  Grant meets Coyote, who plays a disturbingly creepy man in a wheelchair, a writer with an apparent love for both the sound of his own voice, and the bounds of the sexual imagination.  He is accompanied by a very intriguing but distant French wife.  Their story unfolds, a story which is wild with passion and experimentation at first - as is the case with most new couples - then develops into a story of manipulation, cruelty and poetic come-uppance.

This film will make you cringe.  It will make you want to throw yoghurt at the t.v.  It will make you want to throw your hands in the air and shout “BUT WHY?!?!?”  It will make bile rise in your throat and it will give you a stiffy, all at the same time.  You will not have seen everything until you’ve seen this film.

Just remember what I told you about not watching it with your parents.