Dec 28th, 2007
Relatives are time
So that’s Christmas over then. We’re in that awqward space between celebrations, the end of year limbo, when Ireland’s liver is given a generous one week break. The incoming New Year threatens a lot of sensible living and hard work for me, for it’s time to stop being a gobshite I fear. Oh well. RIP path of self-destruction.
Here are a few random things that happened over the last few days. I don’t think any lessons can be learned from them really.
- I was interrogated by the police for being furtive on a quiet country lane with The Accidental Terrorist’s big yellow van.
- I almost caused my dad to have a minor cardiac infarction when I failed to guess his wild gesturings during a game of charades. So would you if you had to guess ‘Eternal Enemies of Lions and Hyenas’ within 2 minutes.
- I made two small Children cry on Christmas day because I felt like it.
- I crashed a party and overdosed on Mickey Finn’s due to lowest-card drawn shot drinking contest.
- I started Assassin’s Creed but a space continuum has created a rip which has prevented me from playing it since. I need to invent a cloning machine in the new year.
- I lost three games of poker
- I’ve discovered that the combined weight of all my children’s toys is causing foundation subsidence.
- I’ve discovered that time doesn’t exist, and my liver hates me.
That’s all. My brain is a reheated boiled sprout and my body is one big sugar crash. See you when I’m me again!