Thanks Daz!

Best €200 I ever spent.

Sixty; Like… back atcha bub!

Kirk M; Isn’t it tempting? Great for lighting candles and solving pidgeon problems, too.

Roy; Deodorant in the eye is a mighty fine deterrent. I like it a lot. I will practice your seat fighting techniques, these could also help with road rage frustration and ‘calm-the-fuck-down’ messages to stressed out businessmen.

Thriftcriminal; Noise! Of course… I hadn’t thought of that. Might try playing Bjork’s music at full volume.
Fair play to your Aunt!!! The force must be strong in her. In that situation I think my force would be cowering behind the fridge.

JackMcMad; I love circut diagrams! Send them anyway
I’m not sure what sort of driver I’d be. I’m aiming to be a conversational guru who can inadvertently charge extra cash just so the punter can finish hearing my point of view. I’m also a bit schizophrenic which can make trips very interesting indeed.

Brian; Denny Crane!

Sam; Very effective! Also good for traffic light starts what with the forward trajectory an’ all.

Thanks to all of you for the good lucks! I think I will need most of this luck getting to the test centre on time given the state of the traffic and roadworks into Wexford Town. I shall have to leave at 7am to get there for 9.30, so I will be a very crabby little bint indeed.

Good luck on your test.

Personal body alarms can be quite effective and give you the necessary seconds to get out of a sticky situation or the quick application of the brakes can jam an attacker between the front seats, but I can send you plans and circuit diagrams to electrify your back seats at the push of a button on the steering wheel, completely immobilising the intending attacker for as long as you want although you may have to clean up a bit of a mess afterwards when they’ve soiled themselves.

Best of luck with the test and in the new career! What sort of Taxi Driver do you think you’ll make? The smiley happy entertaining one or the moaney pain in the hole one?

On another note, may favourite self defence story comes from my aunt. She was working as a girl groom and living alone in her 20s. One night she arrived home to find a bloke sitting on her bed wearing one of her tights over his head and holding a knife from the kitchen. She launched herself at him, took the knife from him and screamed at him to get the fuck out of her house. Luckily it went in her favour. They key is do not follow their script. And noise. Very loud noise.

seat fighting …….practice whacking the headrest with your knuckles directly from it’s perch on the steering wheel, find the right position and be ready to throw it instantly,

buy cheap deodorant for rear seat attacks, again practice spraying it one handed at the rear headrests, doubles up as a “puke stink replacer”

And I love that flame thrower although if I built one over here and tested it like he did, I’d probably be arrested and thrown in jail.

Still, methinks I’ll visit my local hardware store.