Comments on: Billy no-mates http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/ "We're all naked underneath" Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:33:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: I Subscribe to the WordPress>Random RSS Feed at Going Like Sixty http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1096 I Subscribe to the WordPress>Random RSS Feed at Going Like Sixty Tue, 09 Oct 2007 19:24:08 +0000 http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1096 [...] I’m not tall. [...] [...] I’m not tall. [...]

]]> By: K8 http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1104 K8 Mon, 08 Oct 2007 11:49:15 +0000 http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1104 See it's easy for you Doc, you must be a people person. If I try to schmooze, I end up getting nervous at the last second and saying something horribly strange like... "Wow, your eyes are the same colour as my dog's bed!" I am CRAP at smalltalk. Daddyo... I had fun with no.2 also. The ceiling of this particular pub was very pretty indeed. I knew I hadn't a chance though as this was a family affair, and families tend to be quite slow at breaking the circle. Grannymar, see that would work for you. I can't pull that sortof thing off at all. The flashing 'LONER' light over my head distracts people from my humour. Also I discovered that not a lot of people in the South Wicklow area HAVE a sense of humour. Daz... isn't 'schmooze' the noise that the stomach pumping machine makes when it's doing it's thing?!? I would've loved to challenge a standoff, but sadly I had to drive. Anyway I was itching to get back into the car to listen to the new Foo Fighters album I just got. Baino, I get the feeling that some day we'll ALL be doing the challenge! See it’s easy for you Doc, you must be a people person. If I try to schmooze, I end up getting nervous at the last second and saying something horribly strange like… “Wow, your eyes are the same colour as my dog’s bed!” I am CRAP at smalltalk.

Daddyo… I had fun with no.2 also. The ceiling of this particular pub was very pretty indeed. I knew I hadn’t a chance though as this was a family affair, and families tend to be quite slow at breaking the circle.

Grannymar, see that would work for you. I can’t pull that sortof thing off at all. The flashing ‘LONER’ light over my head distracts people from my humour. Also I discovered that not a lot of people in the South Wicklow area HAVE a sense of humour.

Daz… isn’t ’schmooze’ the noise that the stomach pumping machine makes when it’s doing it’s thing?!? I would’ve loved to challenge a standoff, but sadly I had to drive. Anyway I was itching to get back into the car to listen to the new Foo Fighters album I just got.

Baino, I get the feeling that some day we’ll ALL be doing the challenge!

]]> By: doc http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1103 doc Mon, 08 Oct 2007 10:30:55 +0000 http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1103 Daz - hah! you'll want to thank Grandad for that: I used to think I was just chatting people up until he gave a damned schmooze award. All in all I much prefer the SHIT award... Daz -

hah! you’ll want to thank Grandad for that: I used to think I was just chatting people up until he gave a damned schmooze award.

All in all I much prefer the SHIT award…

]]> By: Baino http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1102 Baino Mon, 08 Oct 2007 09:34:04 +0000 http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1102 Hahah . . . thanks guys for the hot tips! I'm the ply myself with alcohol type. People feel sorry for me when I fall over - great way to get sympathy and meet people. They keep coming back to see if you're alright. Daz, did we do the challenge? Was I the one that ended up at St Vincents? Hahah . . . thanks guys for the hot tips! I’m the ply myself with alcohol type. People feel sorry for me when I fall over – great way to get sympathy and meet people. They keep coming back to see if you’re alright.

Daz, did we do the challenge? Was I the one that ended up at St Vincents?

]]> By: Daz http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1101 Daz Mon, 08 Oct 2007 01:28:15 +0000 http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1101 And Doc, the word 'schmooze' sounds like a kind of disease that leaves you with a cheerily explosive colon, so you may want to avoid that word. And Doc, the word ’schmooze’ sounds like a kind of disease that leaves you with a cheerily explosive colon, so you may want to avoid that word.

]]> By: Daz http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1100 Daz Mon, 08 Oct 2007 01:27:10 +0000 http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1100 Trust me, I'm a fucking expert on aloofness. I've learned to overcome it with three things: 1) Flit from person to person (think a hummingbird flying about the gaff) and exchange words with them. Try to find some defining or easily memorable thing about them and remember it. Then you can come back later in the night, and know an ice-breaker. 2) The less efort route: Find the biggest alco in the room and challenge them to the Great Sambuca Challenge. Last man standing wins. You're either a legend or in Vincent's getting your stomach pumped. Either way, people know who you are. 3) The classic cheesy line: Take a lump of ice, throw it on the ground, and start smashing it. If someone asks you what you are doing, say 'breaking the ice'. If they don't accidentally break their neck from slipping on it, that is. Trust me, I’m a fucking expert on aloofness. I’ve learned to overcome it with three things:

1) Flit from person to person (think a hummingbird flying about the gaff) and exchange words with them. Try to find some defining or easily memorable thing about them and remember it. Then you can come back later in the night, and know an ice-breaker.

2) The less efort route: Find the biggest alco in the room and challenge them to the Great Sambuca Challenge. Last man standing wins.
You’re either a legend or in Vincent’s getting your stomach pumped.
Either way, people know who you are.

3) The classic cheesy line: Take a lump of ice, throw it on the ground, and start smashing it. If someone asks you what you are doing, say ‘breaking the ice’.
If they don’t accidentally break their neck from slipping on it, that is.

]]> By: Grannymar http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1099 Grannymar Sun, 07 Oct 2007 15:06:51 +0000 http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1099 Walk up to someone and say 'Hi, I have only come back from the moon or wherever, can you remind of where we met before. Works everytime. Walk up to someone and say ‘Hi, I have only come back from the moon or wherever, can you remind of where we met before.

Works everytime.

]]> By: Grandad http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1098 Grandad Sun, 07 Oct 2007 14:33:08 +0000 http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1098 I had an identical experience last year. The only option was 2, as there was no bar [only waitresses with trays], no chairs, no smoking area, the people who had invited me were too busy circulating and everyone else had come in groups. So I stood and admired the ceiling, and everyone gravitated to the other end of the room. I moved to the other end of the room and everyone promptly migrated to where I had been [I had washed and changed before going, incidentally]. Suddenly, I was introduced to one of the Big Cheeses, and became the centre of attention for the entire room. I preferred watching the ceiling. I had an identical experience last year. The only option was 2, as there was no bar [only waitresses with trays], no chairs, no smoking area, the people who had invited me were too busy circulating and everyone else had come in groups.

So I stood and admired the ceiling, and everyone gravitated to the other end of the room. I moved to the other end of the room and everyone promptly migrated to where I had been [I had washed and changed before going, incidentally].

Suddenly, I was introduced to one of the Big Cheeses, and became the centre of attention for the entire room.

I preferred watching the ceiling.

]]> By: doc http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1097 doc Sun, 07 Oct 2007 14:07:24 +0000 http://www.cackaloo.com/2007/10/07/billy-no-mates/#comment-1097 i always pick a person at random and just start schmoozing - within a half hour, usually, i know (or know of) everyone at the event and am helping out in the kitchen. i tend to make a good first impression - charming smile, acceptable appearance, willingness to listen - and so when i leave everyone is chatting about that nice Frank Johnson, and how come you haven't invited him beofre, and is he single? it works a treat. so much so that no one ever thinks to suspect me when their prescription bottle contents are light, or their purses are missing the odd amount of cash or they can't recall where they parked their BMW.. HIGHLY recommend this approach... i always pick a person at random and just start schmoozing – within a half hour, usually, i know (or know of) everyone at the event and am helping out in the kitchen.

i tend to make a good first impression – charming smile, acceptable appearance, willingness to listen – and so when i leave everyone is chatting about that nice Frank Johnson, and how come you haven’t invited him beofre, and is he single?

it works a treat. so much so that no one ever thinks to suspect me when their prescription bottle contents are light, or their purses are missing the odd amount of cash or they can’t recall where they parked their BMW..

HIGHLY recommend this approach…

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