K8 the GR8

Let me introduce you to Murgatroyd.

I found him in Amsterdam.  I was walking through a purple haze in the city and fell into a hole.  Inside the hole was a shop.  The shop had many strange and wonderful things for sale;  mystical figures hung from the ceiling, wizards and dragons leered from behind glass cages.  A battle scene in full flight was arranged on a large table in the centre of the room.  The floor was paved with daggers and jewels which glinted in spite of the shop’s dark and musty atmosphere. 

I ventured deep into the bowels of the shop and found Murgatroyd standing on a rock near the back wall.  I was instantly drawn to his friendly smile and his amber eyes which seemed to be brimming with hysteria.  I saw a lot of myself in him.  I approached the old salesman to enquire about his price. 

“Ahh.” he said… “So you are the fabled chosen one.”

Enough said!  I whisked Murgatroyd from his perch and completed the sale, gleaming with joy at my find.  As I left the shop I heard the old man shout something about a warning and feeding after midnight but he didn’t follow me so it couldn’t have been that important.

Murgatroyd is now firmly at home in my living-room.  He is a brilliant conversation-starter and has never been beaten in a staring match.  I also have strong suspicions that he comes to life at night-time and gets up to mischief, then places evidence in clever ways to frame my toddler.  I don’t mind.  He has his uses.   He seems to bring me good luck, if there is such a thing, and once he even turned a canvassing politician to stone right there on my front doorstep when I asked him to.  It took me a long time to smash the statue up and arrange him in the garden, but it was worth it.

I don’t talk to him or anything, don’t get me wrong here… I’m not completely mad.  Anyway I don’t need to.  I understand him and he understands me.  He’s low maintenance, he’s house-trained, and he doesn’t answer back.  Every weirdo should have one. 

This is the troll family which Murgatroyd bravely left behind