May 23rd, 2007
The adventure I nearly had
I was walking on a beach today and found a plastic bottle with paper in it. I was so excited I wet myself a little bit. I opened it, fished out the rolled upA4 sheet and saw that it was….
Somebody’s lousy exam paper. The only hand-written message of peace and human-kind was ‘example, quote, summary.’ It was scrawled below an insipid english question based on ’some novel you’ve read or whatever’, so I guessed it wasn’t supposed to be the result of some random soul hoping to inspire a stranger like me. There was no indication whatsoever of where it came from. I’d say Arklow, but I don’t think they have schools there. Whoever it was, I hope they failed. Serves them right for getting my hopes up like that. Ok, maybe not a fail. Maybe just a C minus.
The following ‘A+’ english exam answers are probably urban myths, but Kudos to the students if they’re not…
Question: Give an example of bravery under pressure?
Answer: This is.
Question: Write a short story which must include the following three things: 1. Religion 2. Sexuality 3. Mystery
Answer: ‘Good God, I’m pregnant. I wonder who did it?’
There is a pretty fine line between bravery and stupidity y’know?
Excellent! You think a bit like me when I’m in the right mood.
Maybe it was from some secret exam island where inhabitants are perpetually answering exam questions. One of them was looking for help in the only way they knew how. Tragic really.
If taht was an A1 standard short-story, I wrote twelve pages more than necessary … fuck.
Find X. here it is. Hahahahahahahahaha!!!
That is too too funny.
John and Brian… glad you were tickled
Maybe desert island email, Conor? I never thought o’ that.
Dario, you sweat pure quality. Don’t worry.
Really? Then my Roma shirt is worth its weight in gold!!
I’m sorry that was disgusting. And Brian was right, that was what I needed to see after seeing an exam paper filling with hidden variables.
Though that was ten hours and many beers ago.
Better late than never . . . I should be first off the blocks given that we’re a day ahead . . . there are many more . . . get a tissue before you start it’s teary stuff:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/5107/They-didnt-study
LOL!!! That long-division explosion is priceless
Thanks for that!