May 5th, 2007
Air-brushed election?!?
I have a bottle and a half of wine in me, so heaven help you.
I would like to indulge in a quick rant about election posters. I don’t usually rant, as I am the peace loving kind, but this year above others I feel pretty affected. I’m up for marketing, it’s sensible and gets the punter’s attention, but this is mind-bogglingly surreal. For every 50 metres of road, there are at least two posters. Some of them overlap each other. Some of them have their own scaffolding and I feel justified in pointing fingers, Mr. Cockroach Dick Roche.
All you motorists out there are well aware of that automatic awareness of road signs. Whether they be directional signs, yield signs or speed limits, we don’t deliberately look at them, our subconcious takes them into mind. Election posters fuck my mind up. My brain is trying to ignore them, yet has the difficult task of picking the needles from the haystack. Delerious cheesy grins distract my ability to judge what the road holds up ahead. What the hell are tourists thinking? Are French people thinking that we are unnaturally friendly? Do the British think we’re sad? These people must think we have no better way to spend our money as they jig along on our dangerously narrow winding acne-ridden roads.
I would love to get my hands on a paintball gun and a babysitter. I would spend a whole week trapesing around this island happily defacing this in-your-face visual air-brushed pollution. County to county, by bike or by foot. It’s not illegal. I’d even do it for charity.
What are they at, anyway?!?! Are we really gullible enough to have our minds changed by crappy catchphrases? Don’t we all know whom we are voting for by now?!?! Is the erection of posters just a means of employing foreigners who are looking for a quick buck? Am I going to wake any minute from a horrible nightmare and find myself gladly suffering a hangover? I hope so.
Somebody pinch me. PLEASE.